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Kolkata Killer Kricketers

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A blog by Miss Field: AUSTRALIA

I cannot find a name for the Kolkata IPL team. I have found the Bangalore Royal Challengers, Chennai Super Kings and Delhi Daredevils and they’re three of the lamest team names I’ve ever come across (and I played sport at primary school, believe it or not).

I am going to find a name for Kolkata. Not the Cats, because the Cats are a name of a football team here who won the flag, so no. Plus I’m acutely allergic to cats, and hate them. I even have a sticker on my car that says “Ask me about microwaving cats for fun and profit.” They’re horrid things. Anyway, I digress.

I’m not keen on alliteration, otherwise I’d be going with Kolkata Killer Cricketers. That’s got to be up there with the Delhi Daredevils. But no, I think Kolkata should take a step forward to a more sophistcated name (and by more sophisticated, I mean sophisticated at all). Kolkata Superiority Detachment. Kolkata Doomsday Purveyors. Kolkata Giant Pandas. Kolkata Rebel Alliance. Ah better not use that one, Lucas would probably sue (it does sound good though, maybe the team’s admin and Georgie Lucas could come to some sort of naming rights agreement, neither could lose.) Kolkata Gladiators. Kolkata Splendour. Kolkata Sorcerers.

For lack of ideas, I choose the Kolkata Rebel Alliance. And further to that, here is my cast.

Ricky Ponting - Han Solo
David Hussey - Luke Skywalker
Brendon McCullum - Chewie (his home planet is beautiful but he does sound funny)
Ajit Agarkar - Admiral Ackbar
Sourav Ganguly - C3PO
Murali Kartik - R2D2
Shoaib Akhtar - Lando Calrissian
Ishant Sharma - Wedge Antilles
Umar Gul - Dak
Chris Gayle - Obi Wan Kenobi
John Buchanan - Yoda

Shoaib Akhtar: [after realising the Delhi Daredevils aren’t as lame as their name would have you believe] Home One, this is Gold Leader.
Ajit Agarkar: We saw it. All fieldsmen, prepare to retreat.
Shoaib Akhtar: We won’t get another chance at this, Admiral.
Ajit Agarkar: We have no choice, General Akhtar! Our bowlers can’t repel firepower of that magnitude!
Shoaib Akhtar: Ricky will have that shield down. We’ve got to give him more time!

If Punter was a bowler it’d work better. Still. Works for me.


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2 Comments to “Kolkata Killer Kricketers”

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Gte out more often lol

andruid said this on February 24th, 2008 at 7:52 pm

The perfect casting for a new screening of Stars’ wars. :)
I like the name.
I too am for Kolkata and always for C3PO of course, er Ganguly.

©hinaman said this on February 23rd, 2008 at 3:19 pm